What hope provides.

Hope seems like a simple thing to have. When I pitch a horse shoe, I always have hope that I will hit the post and get a ringer. That happens once in a while. Maybe just luck. But what happens when I have hope and the shoe roles past the pit and yards out of play? Or what about playing solitaire on the computer? Or golf on the Wii? My best for nine holes of Wii golf is 6 under par. The other day I had five over par on the same course. You always start out with the hope your will break your old record. What happens when you get ill? What happens when the doctor tells you there is something seriously wrong with you or your loved one? We can use hope to believe that everything will take care of itself. But for some, hope does not come. They believe that it is their destiny that the worst will come of their illness, or they loose all hope and do not care any more. During the last visit I had with the oncologist, the nurse had a brief discussion about an anonymous patient who was giving up in the middle of his treatment. In many ways he was choosing the outcome of his future by not caring enough to have hope and try. I am now reading “True Compass: A Memoir” by Edward Kennedy. I find the book to be very fascinating as Ted (the name we know him by) speaks of the assassination of his two brothers, John and Robert. During the 1960’s Ted Kennedy is sifting through one tragedy after another. He considers leaving the senate to sort out his life on his sailboat because he believes he can not provide any positive leadership to the critical issues facing the country. Yet he understands that for him, hope is critical to keep moving and staying productive. In this book he writes,

“I am a realist, and I have heard bad news in my life. I don’t expect or need to be treated with kid gloves. But I do believe in hope. And I believe that approaching adversity with a positive attitude at least gives you a chance for success. Approaching it with a defeatist attitude predestines the outcome of defeat.” Edward Kennedy.

It is hope that gives us a glimmer of sanity going through difficult circumstances. For all Rose and I have been through the past two years with my health, we never doubted that we would come through this together. There was a time after waiting so long for a donor heart that we were concerned. And even today we still have moments of thinking when this will all be over with. Hope has helped us to stay positive. I do not view the set backs and bumps as necessary evil, but they become part of the path we are on. There is an end. We just have to stay on course to reach it. Starting this week, I will be on my third approach by the doctors to get the bad cells in my bone marrow that have created my problem that destroyed the heart. Some progress was made with the bone marrow transplant and some progress was made with the first round of chemotherapy. The third treatment will last for five months. Hope will keep out attitudes proper that the new approach will be it. That the disease will not be detected in my system. Hope will improve our chance of success.